Letting Feelings Go
by NCIS-Warrior-Princess
Summary: This is a story before Elena became a vampire. This is my first Delena story. I know people say that a lot. I know I didn't put this is the story DISCLAIMER TO ALL VAMPIRE DIARIES stuff in this story. Please be kind and REVIEW. Let me know what I could do to improve it, if any. Ch. 2 up and posted :)
1. Chapter 1

ELENA POV

I slowly pace room, I can't sleep and I am not totally sure why. What am I thinking I know why, that damn Salvatore. For the past week I have only been able to think about Damon, no matter how hard I try I can't seem to get him out of my mind. Stopping next to my closet I knew what I had to do. I grabbed me a long sleeve light blue shirt, my blank skinny jeans, and my little ankle boots. Rushing as I got dressed I frantically looked around for my keys. I rush downstairs hoping they are on the kitchen counter, luckily they are. I yank them off and rush over to the boarding house. As I am driving I cant help but think how stupid I am being, I don't need to do this. I remember Aunt Jenna telling me that I should always follow my heart so I guess that's what I am doing. I finally finished arguing with myself as I pulled up to the boarding house. I walked up to the door and knocked. I was getting ready to turn away when the door opened. And none other than Damon himself was standing there no shirt and pajama pants. Fantastic.

"What are you doing here this late Elena" he asked.

"Umm… I was bored and couldn't sleep so I thought I would stop by. Why…why are you still up this late?" I questioned. He moves out of the way so that I can enter. I lean up against the staircase.

"Inner turmoil keeping me up and such."

"Care to share?"

"Like you don't know Elena" he slams the door and walks over and stops in front of me.

"Damon I may have come over but I am half asleep I have no clue what you are talking about." I lied. I know exactly what's on his mind I just need to here him say it.

"This sexual tension between us! Dear god woman. I love you! Can't you see that! Give in already, it's obvious you feel something for me too." He said, trying to keep his cool. I could see it in his eyes.

I froze I didn't know how to reply to that. Well I did I really didn't want to but I know I have to I took a deep breathe and started to talk.

"Damon,….. I can't just give in," -even if I want to - I thought. "I refuse to be KATHERINE!" I pushed my way past him and headed towards the kitchen.

He followed me and grabbed my wrist and pulled me to face him.

"You could never be Katherine, is that what has kept you at arms length for so long?"

I paused before I answered.

"That is one of the reasons yes, me being with Stefan and then getting with you means that I am just like her. I wont be able to handle being considered anything like her."

"No! Katherine played us! For her own personal amusement. She never knew the meaning of love! You have that! You are not a self serving vampire who doesn't give a damn!"

My eyes started to water. What he is saying I know he means it.

"I just don't want to be her" I couldn't stop the one tear from falling. So I let it fall.

"Elena I know, but I don't want to be without you. Not anymore."

A sigh escaped before I could conceal it.

"….Damon…"

"Yes?"

I looked at my shoes. We still haven't moved.

"I….I'm not sure….. I love you.. I know it's there but I don't know what to do"

He put his finger on my chin and tilted my head to look at his eyes.

"I can't and won't blame you… in truth you have every right to feel loyalty to my brother. But dear god! If you only knew half the longing I have for you! It's eating me up. I want to be so selfish…."

I couldn't hold back any longer.

"Sometime I want you to be selfish… but it can't happen"

He let go of my face and my hands.

'Why not! Why not just let go for once what's suppose to be and run towards what should be!"

"Because Damon, I would feel guilty in the end, because I still have feelings for Stefan."

He walks to the front door, opens it, and stands in the doorway.

"SHOULD I LEAVE MYSTIC FALLS THEN! WOULD THAT MAKE IT EASIER!"

"NO!" I scream. I run over to him and throw my arms around him in a tight hug. "You can't leave that would not make it easier. It would make the pain appear and it'll be to hard."

He hugs me back.

"There's nothing for me here is there though? Not really."

I let go and look him in the face not caring that the tears are streaming down my face not caring that I look like a mess.

"Damon you can't leave."

He closes the door and we walk back into the hallway.

"I could never leave….you wouldn't last 2 seconds without me slapping you back into focus." He lets out a stiff laugh then his smile fades.

I show a small smile then it fades.

"Promise you won't ever leave me…."

"There you go again Elena."

I look at him confused.

"Expecting me to do something because it's you who's doing the asking."

He winks.

"That's not why I want you to promise me….but I need to know that you won't leave." I walk back towards him and stop in front of him.

"I promised you I wouldn't remember" he says as he grabs my hand.

I look at our hands together.

"I need to hear it again." I said looking up.

"I will never, could never." he pauses and cups my face, "and wont ever leave you."

I put my hand on his and look into his eyes.

"That's all I needed to hear." I say as I kiss his lips softly. Then back away. "I can't have another Stefan recap I would die."

He grabs my waist and pulls me close.

"By now you of all people should know I am nothing like my little brother."

"That's what I am counting on." I smile kissing him again.

He doesn't kiss back instead he pushes me away but gently.

"Elena don't do this to me, don't bring me any more false hopes it's cruel."

I take a deep breathe and grab his hand and pull him back to where I was.

"Damon I'm not….. I love you ….and ….. I want to try this out." the sentence finally escaping I look at our hands.

He slightly chuckles and lifts my face to look at his again.

"It's your move from here, I think I've made more than my fair share these past few months…"

"Just remember what you are getting yourself into, people I tend to love get hurt."

"Elena loving you has already hurt me more that getting staked or dipped in vervain and yet I am still here aren't I."

"That is true." I say smiling.

"Now what I really want, in this moment, not sex or some kiss that will fade but to hold you and bask in the satisfaction to know that I can." he said.

I stepped away and started to head to the living room over to the movie case.

"I can allow that. Let's go to the couch and watch a movie."

He hesitated for a couple seconds then slowly followed me.

"I can handle a movie as long as it's not that Twilight crap that is a serious disgrace to vampires, I mean come on we DON'T sparkle."

"No I promise no Twilight I was thinking more along the line of Titanic" I saw laughing.

"Hmm, 4 hours of you warm against my side I think I can definitely manage."

I turn and grab his hand and lead him to the couch while I put the movie in. Once I finished with that I went over and sat next to him. He pulls me close.

"I love you Damon Salvatore." I say as I cuddle next to him.

"I love you most Elena Gilbert." he says as he kisses my forehead.

"Sooner or later that is going to be hard to prove." I say laughing.

"And why is that?"

"Because I have a lot of stuff buried and it will surface soon. I am tired of holding it all inside."

"You mean like your lingering feelings for Stefan."

"Nope not those…. To be honest most of the feelings toward him haven't been there since he left with Klaus and even though he has returned they still aren't there."

"Yet you still love him?" he questioned.

"There will always be apart of me that loves him….I'm just in love with him anymore."

I felt his muscles tense up a little then release.

"So what you're saying is that you are IN love with me?"

"I think I maybe." I answer turning my face towards his smiling.

He turns and looks at me and for about a good 5 minutes we just stare into each others eyes our faces slowly getting closer together and our lips meet. All the tension that has been built up released into a strongly passionate kiss that I refused to end. On my own accord I had to end it because I needed to breathe. So I moved my head away with a really bug grin on my face.

"Damon we need to watch the movie."

"Right, the movie I forgot, I saw something way more fantastic." he said laughing. Then he smiled coyly.

"Get your head out of the gutter Mr. Salvatore."

As I reached for the remote he slapped my ass, when I looked at him he was looking at the ceiling acting as if he didn't do anything.

"You know Damon I did drive here I could always go home" I said as I started to laugh.

"I'll behave! I promise" he says as he threw his hands up.

"HEY! I was warm put your hands back down and good." I smiled.

"Is this movie ever going to get started or have you decided you would rather do something else." he mentions laughing.

"Well you keep distracting me so I haven't been able to push the play button."

He took the remote from my hand and pushed the play button himself.

"Good thing I have better control." he smirked.

"Ha ha ha." I say slapping his arm.

I snuggle up closer to him and we both turned to the tv. Now that I think about it sitting here with Damon is probably exactly what I wanted to do tonight I just didn't know how to make it happen. I am glad that I was able to let go and let my true feelings take over. Maybe he would have left Mystic Falls, I am glad I realized my love for him before that happened I don't think I would have been able to see him leave. With that my heart is finally whole again until the end of this movie then it will break a little but Damon will be here to fix it.


	2. Chapter 2

**I know I am horrible. I am so sorry for taking forever to update. I had lost my muse and then I had to deal with school, and trying to get a job. But I am back and strongly appologize. **

* * *

Just as Rose was about to jump back onto the ship, my eyes fly open. I look around at my surroundings, I'm in my own room, still in my pajamas, from last night before I left for the boarding house. Right as I was about to get out of bed Stefan walks through the door with a tray of breakfast.

"Good morning Elena, I made you breakfast. You seemed like you were having a rough sleep so I thought this might help."

"Um... thank you" I said confused as I took the tray from him.

"I will let you eat, meet me at the boarding house later so we can head over to the car wash that Caroline has planned" He kissed the top of my head then walked out. I sat there trying to remember what happened yesterday, it all felt so real, the words, the hand holding, the kissing, it felt right. With the food forgotten I got up and dressed for the day. I put on a pair of blue jean shorts, a pink tank top, and a pair of matching flip flops. I scanned my room for my keys but had no luck in finding them so I headed down the stairs to find them sitting on the kitchen counter. _That's weird_. I thought to myself, just like in my dream. There didn't seem to be anyone home this morning, so I didn't have to worry about running into them. I drove to the boarding house in a daze, surprised that I had made it ok. I walked up to the front door, to find it opened with Damon standing right in the middle of it.

"Good morning Elena, what brings you here this early?" He asked with a smirk.

"Early? Damon its almost noon. I am here to meet Stefan, we are off to help Caroline with a car wash for the Senior class"

"Oh yea, Stefan said something about that as he walked in, he also mentioned something about you mumbling something in your sleep about you not wanting to be like Katherine and the movie Titanic. Care to share?"

I stood there frozen with my eyes wide, I didn't realize I had talked in my sleep. Oh I really wish I hadn't. I pray I didn't say anything about Damon.

"It was just a nightmare, I didn't realize I had talked in my sleep last night. Will you just have Stefan meet me at the school? Tell him Matt called his truck is messed up and I went to give him a ride." and with that I went to my car and headed over to Matt's. I picked up my phone and gave him a call.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey Matt, where are you right now?"

_"I am locking up the house, about to head out. Why? What's up?"_

"Well stay there. I told Damon to tell Stefan that your car was messed up and you called me for a ride, so I left to get you and wasn't able to ride with him."

_"May I ask why?" _

"I will tell you when I see you."

_"Ok... Bye Elena" _

"Bye. "

As I drove to Matt's, I pondered on how to tell him about my dream last night. I was having an eternal fight with myself the whole way on what I was going to say. I finally decided I might as well tell him the truth, he was going to figure it out sooner or later anyways, even if I didn't want him to. I pulled into his driveway and he hopped in.

"Okay Elena what's going on? Why did you lie to both Damon and Stefan?"

I took a deep breathe and let out a sigh. As I drove to the school I told him the dream from the beginning to end and how I wish it hadn't felt so real.

"What do you think it means?"

"Honestly 'Lena I'm not sure but you should talk to Caroline or Bonnie, maybe even Damon. Can't they do the whole getting into your dreams thing?"

"MATT! THAT'S IT!" I say with glee, "I bet anything that Damon put that dream in my head." I sigh in relief "Now knowing that I don't have worry about it meaning anything" We pulled up to the school and Caroline was walking up to the truck so Matt wasn't able to reply.

"Hey 'Lena, hey Matt, glad you can make it. Elena where is Stefan? I thought he was going to be here? Oh well he is probably bringing Damon, he said he wanted to help. Also I didn't write the arrangement, yea arrangement for a car wash I know right. Anyways, you and Stefan aren't working in the same section, you are actually going to be working with Damon. I know lame but they let Rebekah create the list and she put herself with Stefan. Matt you are with me and Tyler by the way. Oh I have to go grab more towels I will see you later." and with her rant finally over Caroline disappeared into the mob of people.

"Ugh this is just great" I growled.

"Hey 'Lena it will be okay, I have to endure being with Tyler so we are on equal grounds right now, just take a deep breathe the day will be over soon, I will catch you later." he gave me a hug and he was soon out of sight as well.

I watched as everyone slowly got into their groups of people, fearing the day I have ahead, I turn around and run smack into Damon.

"Hello again Elena" he said with that smile of his that makes the world go round.

"Ugh," I rolled my eye, "Hello Damon." I tried to walk around him but he stopped me.

"Elena what's wrong?" He asked searching my eyes for something but of what I am not sure.

"Nothing. I had a nightmare last night and didn't get much sleep." He knew I was lying and that there was much to the story but for once he didn't bother me into telling him. He just looked at me for a minute then got to work on our first car.

I walked to the opposite side of the car, grabbing a sponge on the way, and started to wash. As I washed the side door, I took a quick glance through the window and noticed Damon looking at me so I quickly ducked down and started working on the tires. I couldn't just come out and ask him could I, or would that be weird. I decided to keep my mouth shut and just work on the cars as they came, not once really talking to Damon. Around 4 o'clock the cars started to come less and less until they stopping coming all together. We all gathered the supplies and seperated them into their right piles. I was walking to put the sponge away when a bucket of water got dumped on me. I was in shock to say the least, I turned around and saw Damon running, also noticing he had gotten Caroline, Stefan, Matt, Tyler and even Rebekah.

"Damn you Damon" I couldn't help but smile. Everyone had some sort of sponge or bucket chasing after him. I look around and quickly grab the water hose and hid behind my vehicle. I peak around the bumper and as Damon rounds the corner I aim the water hose and get him soaked, bursting out into laughter. The others laughed and started a war of their own. Damon looked at me with that look of payback. I dropped the hose and ran, knowing very well he was going to catch me sooner or later, I ran towards the girls locker room. I snuck around quietly, slowly backing up towards one of the stalls, when I bumped into something hard. I turn around and I am starring right at Damon.

"Uh hi Damon" I say with a cheeky smile.

"Oh now you say hi" He said with a smirk.

I slowly start to back away, when in a blink of an eye I am pinned up against a set of lockers. I couldn't help but laugh.  
"Hey let me go you deserved that" I say with a smile.

"Glad to see you in a better mood." He lightened his grip on my wrist but never let go. "So are you going to tell me what was wrong with you today?"  
The minute he asked my good mood disappeared and the dream came back into my mind.

"Nothing, everything is fine, can you let me go now?" I say with a stern voice.

He let go and took a step back. I looked at him wanting to tell him, wanting to ask him if he knew anything, but instead a single tear fell and I took off running away back to the front.

**If you would like something specific in the story to happen please R&R and leave it in a comment, I will glady make it happen. Once again I am back and I am going to try to update at least once a week. If I don't feel free to PM over and over again until its up and posted. **


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